Sigh.

I've lost my will to blog about my day to day. I'm super busy with the end of my school year and the school year for the girls. My teeth are hurting like a migraine right now and I'm attempting to start a helpful blog as opposed to my personal blog. Don't ask me why just feel like it. I've recently discovered that once again I can not trust anyone other than myself. I don't know why I give people the benefit of the doubt and trust them with my deepest thoughts and concerns. It makes it very hard for me to be kind and nice to people when I keep getting stabbed in the back. i am a very open and sharing person and for some reason that's a terrible thing to be. I suppose stuffy and dull are more mainstream. Sigh, whatever. I suppose I've misunderstood the meaning of friendship. I'm learning friendship is only for good times. Hmm, I thought that's what strangers were good for. I suppose a shoulder to cry on or a listening ear is out of reach . Why on earth do I expect anyone to be there and support me through my trials and stress days. I mean it couldn't be because I do that for them. No there must be something very wrong with reaching out for answers and opinions from people you look up to and admire. I do wonder what to do with emotion since talking it out is right up there with pills and wine. One of the enigmas of life I suppose.

Outcomes

So, tomorrow I am required to take the "outcomes assessment" for Connors in order to receive my degree in May. It is a 4 hour comprehensive test similar to the ACT and there is no credit for it. It is solely for the purpose of Connors knowing what level of knowledge exiting students have. Well let's see here...over the past 3 years I can tell you about the handful of information I have retained from Connors State College. past a test who can remember any of this stuff. This mess of info that I will never use. Imaginary numbers...really? I;m going to be using imaginary numbers in my job but not their kind. So to say the least I'm a bit miffed about getting up early, not being able to take the girls to school, and spending 4 hours taking a test that I don't even get a grade for completing. I wonder if they'll let me take my big ole' Starbucks cup with me? I'm going to need some liquid power for this. FYI: CSC the outcome of 3 years of night classes, classes you said I'd need then didn't (a full years worth), and the sheer agony of putting up with a bunch of teenage morons and being lumped up in the group with them is this....God handle things on HIS time not mine, and I can do all things through Christ with enough prayer....and Starbucks.

Spring Break

Well spring break was amazing! Although now that I'm home I'm looking around thinking...oh jeez...I got to get this house in order. I cleaned before I left but I need to organize! I let stuff go during the school year and on every break i take a few days (the week) and put it all in it's place (if it has a place). So my brain is a mess when it's all over the place and this last half of the semester will make me or break me as it is my last for now. So with my house in order I can fully focus on my school work and get that darned degree I've been slowly working on for the last 3 years. Sigh. Today....is going to be a therapeutic day...Did I mention I'm going to get back to exercising today? Well.......maybe tomorrow, I just found a tub of Girl Scout Thin Mint Ice Cream in the freezer. Apparently Paul is not concerned with the junk in my trunk that jiggles like jello.

Natalie Grant - I Will Not Be Moved - Official Music Video

This video rocks! I love this song. It pumps me up every time I hear it. I love songs like this, let me know of some good ones!

Learning

We still love each other but we don't have to agree on things. That is the true test of unconditional love. I just smile, then go home and be thankful that I can turn from the drama. It clutters your life, makes you miserable, takes time from your family and craps on your blessings.

wonderfull words from a brilliant mind. I'll give her the credit when she gives me the ok.

I'm finding it super tough to not rub it in peoples face when I hear the dirt on them. If I don't want my business out there I don't tell it OR DO IT, but that's just me and that's the only person I can control. IT CRAPS ON YOUR BLESSINGS funnest and smartest thing I've ever heard. I love it.

Dirt

Now that I've ranted about what bugs me time to lighten things up a bit. Besides the fact that Paul & I are proud owners of dirt after a year of battling paper work I have a great find to share with all of you. A few years ago Paul brought home the vacuum I had been eyeballing at Lowes. A wonderful $150 Hoover something or other. Over the years it's done like all the others and bogged down to the point of not sucking which sucks when you have 3 kids. *HA HA HA* So we decided to just buy a new, cheap vac until i could talk him into a $700 Dyson...*HEE HEE HEE*. So off to Wally World we went to buy the cheapest vac we could find...OK the next to cheapest. A $42 Bissell. I LOVE IT! It's light, sucks the carpet off the floor and if it dies or gives up the ghost...WHO CARES! IT WAS ONLY $42! I might be putting off my $700 vac and be buying a new $42 cheepy every year or so! Just wanted to pass it along if your sucker isn't sucking cause I know it sucks. ;~)

2011

This year is going to be a busy year for our little house and today we felt the effects of all that on our shoulders. With tensions building and tempers trying to flair we decided to take a mini getaway. We shopped the kids to mom (all the way across the yard), enjoyed a glass (or two) of wine and decided tomorrow was going to be an us only day. So we all slept in (I got the girls around 12am) skipped church (even God rested) and layed around watching westerns all morning. We made an incredible enchilada lunch together, cleaned a little house together, and sent Paul to bed before work...together. It was nice to turn it all off and be...together. When daddy was asleep we snuck out and went to mom and dads for cake...it's my bday tomorrow.
This year is a life changing one. In with a new phase and out with one I'm quite accustom too and not ready to give up. After an entire year of paper work, lawyers and mess we are in the last and final step of buying 2 1/2 acres in our dream spot. After 11 years Paul and I are going back to California to visit friends, family, and spend our first real family vacation together with our girls. After 3 years of night classes and a mess of classes I didn't need I will graduate with my Associates degree in Pre Ed in May. After almost 8 years of being a stay at home mom I will be going back to work but this time doing what I love. After 8 years of raising babies....my youngest is starting school....there will be none left at home during the day....*insert bawling like a baby*. 
~ps...I'm pretty sure I started menopause this morning. WHY NOT AT THE RATE I'M GOING!!